its 10 past three in the morning, cant sleep, yesterday was my birthday, older, wiser maybe but quite disillusioned right now. i am pist of as hell largely because of the status of things in kenya right now. Was my first time to vote and yes i am my gal did wake at 4am,,, the excitement was there and we like the rest of kenyans were ready to make some choices. Little did i know things would have turned this way. on 29th things were super bad as i traveled away from Nairobi towards Nyeri. There were no cars going back to Nairobi and everyone feared the worse. Was even funny to see the one way street turned into two way. Im just at a loss, i feel helpless as the 'government' who by no way has no right to be in power blattantly and arrogantly dismissess the efforts of Mediators to sort this problem. Newpapers and media houses are all caught up in the mess, although it is widely believed and clearly, i mean only a damn person can believe you can be president with less the 1/3 of parliamentary seats. I bet its only in Kenya where apparently two people who form lost election can take the highest two positions on land. I am just scared, tomorrow no matter the result of the selection of the speaker, the country is in big trouble!!!!
The other thing that makes me so mad is the humanitarian crisis, there is nothing so disheartening as walking past women, children and men taking shelter at the police station for days because they do not 'belong', worse is most have no place to go as home is no longer home, i cant do anything but watch helplessly and curse why on earth this had to be done. So i decide to head to redcross to see if i can volunteer, there are atleast six (i being the sixth person) people who have volunteered on that day, assuming the list was just for that day. The redcross coordinator is first reluctant when i ask about possibility of assisting for a couple of days. She later opens up, takes my address and ask me to call the following day as he need to plan. I call as requested but voila, she admits there is alot of confusion and it may take time before things are streamlined due to the high and increasing number of refugees. I was mad but understood and was glad they were getting alot done albeit with alot of challenges. apart from redcross isnt there any other organization that offers relief.....??? why is just redcross?
My heart yearns for things to go back to normal, the tension in the streets is unbearable, i was enjoying the political chatter as i walk but now it send chills down my spine, I want peace but first i need justice. I am emotionally and mentally drained, i feel let down by Kibaki but most of all by Kivuitu. I had unfortunately too much trust and hope that he will do the right thing by all kenyans but i was dead wrong. maybe now i will get some sleep.....
